Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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