I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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