Need sex. Gaining weight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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