Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
