you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
