After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
