pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I did not marry a roomba.
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