Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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