I swear she didn't look like that last week.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
