God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
