i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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