I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Mom said you looked used
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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