***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
