i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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