I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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