If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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