My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
