And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
