it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
