Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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