i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
