drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
