Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
