very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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