Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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