he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
