Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
