The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize