Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
