I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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