tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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