Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize