So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
