Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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