yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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