we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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