Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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