"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
