i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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