just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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