I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize