I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
