my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
