I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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