Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
