I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
