I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
