Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Fuck appropriateness.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
