Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
