i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
