Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
