just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
