haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
