Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
