So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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