They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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