i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize