If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
