My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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