Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
