omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
