to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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