please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize